( low, patient. without an ounce of judgement in his voice, because he knows what it's like to be part of that kind of singular oneness: to be without fear or doubt. to yearn for it, even as you know it will destroy you if you let it. )
[ She remembers so faintly the dream the Void gave them, of how connected in that place of his home she had felt, even as she was there to break him from it.
Knowing now, as she did, how it felt, perhaps she was always cruel, to tear him from it. ]
It w's.... mm - most beautiful song I had ever heard. Was joy, and love, and always with us. It was... was awful. Every second of it was knives, scraping the inside of our mind, like knives... knives scraping against bone. But the inside of our skulls. Inside of ears. Like, like feeling your ears bleeding back into... into your... your head. I know - many, many songs. Songs for every day of the year. For good and bad. Can't... can't find that song again. 'S gone. Makes ... makes my teeth ache, 'so empty?
But... but I miss... I miss knowing myself, knowing my purpose.
( here's where he should reassure her: she can find her purpose without a song to remind her. he should, but he doesn't because he knows what it is to be that bereft, to suffer in that silence. )
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And to accept that what we know might not be the best or only solution to something.
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The only thing that comes to the one idea, again and again. ]
'm afraid, Aristaeus, think been afraid my... my whole life. I don't.... don't remember when... when I wasn't. Don't know... don't know how to be...
Not until... the awful, horrible thing... that... that made Murphy all... all mean.
Not until it took it away.
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( low, patient. without an ounce of judgement in his voice, because he knows what it's like to be part of that kind of singular oneness: to be without fear or doubt. to yearn for it, even as you know it will destroy you if you let it. )
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[ She remembers so faintly the dream the Void gave them, of how connected in that place of his home she had felt, even as she was there to break him from it.
Knowing now, as she did, how it felt, perhaps she was always cruel, to tear him from it. ]
It w's.... mm - most beautiful song I had ever heard. Was joy, and love, and always with us. It was... was awful. Every second of it was knives, scraping the inside of our mind, like knives... knives scraping against bone. But the inside of our skulls. Inside of ears. Like, like feeling your ears bleeding back into... into your... your head. I know - many, many songs. Songs for every day of the year. For good and bad. Can't... can't find that song again. 'S gone. Makes ... makes my teeth ache, 'so empty?
But... but I miss... I miss knowing myself, knowing my purpose.
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I'm sorry, Gilia.
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My... my people have a saying that life... life makes graveyards of us all. Surviving is how you... you bury them.